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Holes in my Umbrella

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                                                                                                                              When Bob died, just a short time ago, I said to someone, “The holes in my umbrella are getting too big. There’s not much left of it.” My parents’ generation was like a protective umbrella over me. They were my prayer warriors and spiritual mentors. They were the ones I would call when I needed some advice, or some extra prayer support, or to just give me a listening ear when I needed to vent. But the umbrella has developed some serious holes in it and there’s no way to repair it. Bob’s death was a wake-up call for me. I remember when the first significant hole appeared. Before I could join my husband in the pastoral ministry, I was told I needed to develop a prayer warrior foundation. Ministry is not easy, and our director knew I would need support if I was going to make it as a pastor’s wife. I presented our ministry in my home church and asked for people who
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Lingering in Dissonance

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  Music is made up of chords and scales. When I was a music teacher I taught my students to play by ear, learning which chords went along with which notes. Beginners learned primary chords and when proficient with those I added minors and irregular chords. Lastly, I introduced dissonant chords, chords that don’t seem to fit, or that cause a bit of angst in the listener until they finally resolve to a primary chord. Oxford Dictionary Definition: Dissonance - lack of harmony among musical notes; a tension or clash resulting from the combination of two disharmonious or unsuitable elements. I am presently the interim Worship Ministries Coordinator at our church, and one of my responsibilities is to share a short devotional with my teams on Sunday mornings prior to our service. I’ve been doing a series on ‘Psalms of Ascent’ and last Sunday I read Psalm 130. A few verses jumped out at me: “ I wait for the Lord , my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord m
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Living with Alert Expectation

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                                                                                                                                                                            In the picture on the left my grandson, Carson, is looking out the window of the Sky Train in Vancouver. He had never been here before and did not want to miss a single detail. He was watching with 'alert expectation'. In the picture on the right my son, Josh, is poised and ready to catch his nephew (also Carson) and wanted to make sure he did not miss the catch. He was waiting with 'alert expectation'.  Two completely different scenarios. Two men, both living with alert expectation.    “ …Put your mind on your life with God. The way to life—to God!—is vigorous and requires your total attention ... ” ( Luke 13:24a , The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language) I am sensing that God is at work in our community, especially our Church Family. We have prayed, and are continuing to pray, for revival,
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Slowing Down Enough to Hear God

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  “ As often as possible Jesus withdrew to out-of-the-way places for prayer. ” ( Luke 5:16 , The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language) I don’t need to read far along the pages of the New Testament before I notice that Jesus is always on the go. He teaches, heals the sick, delivers people from the clutches of the enemy, mentors his followers, debates with the religion leaders. He is always doing something. Except when he isn’t. The scriptures record many times when the disciples were looking for him. They had no idea where he had gone. Then they see him: coming down from the mountain, out of the wilderness, out of the thicket. What was Jesus doing anyway? Does he ever sleep? Didn’t he realize he was being sought after by the throngs of people? Jesus made time alone with his Father a priority. If he, being the Son of God, needed to get away from the busyness of life in order to hear his Dad’s voice, how much more essential is it for me, one made of clay? My husband was sha
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What's on Your Table?

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                                                                                Be comfortable at the table God has prepared for you without looking to the table he has prepared for others.  There are days I sit in jealousy. I see my peers sitting in their family church pew surrounded by parents, kids, grandkids…4 generations. They have grown up with the same friends and lived in the same community all their lives. We, on the other hand have been transient. Our kids are splashed across the province of AB. Our siblings span the country from MB to BC. I have no concept of living in the same community for my entire life, raising my kids, and them raising theirs, in the same community and attending the same church. The cost of following Jesus in vocational ministry has felt higher in the last while than it has felt before. I have lost both of my parents while living far away from them. And now my children are living a fair distance from me. I don’t have the opportunity to be involved i
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The Great Re-Set

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  Sometimes the breaker gets tripped; the flow of electricity is blocked or interrupted. When that happens, the switch must be reset to restore the proper flow of power. But first the reason for the circuit break must be discovered and sometimes removed or repaired.   I need a reset button on my soul. When life throws me a curve ball, I often need to re-set my attitude. To call this covid era ‘a curve ball’ is a bit of an understatement. Everywhere I turn I see something that reminds me that life is not normal. Every conversation seems to turn to things covid &/or politics sooner or later. I’m not advocating sticking one’s head in the sand, although I could get used to being on a sandy beach beside a warm ocean these days. I am saying that if I allow myself to obsess about these issues I soon find myself despairing, I get cynical and critical. That is not fun for anyone. Back in October 2021 decided to try a remedy for my disillusionment. I began a Trust Challenge. For the bett
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Bracing for Impact

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  I don’t know if this title resonates with anyone else, but I have often operated in a perpetual state of ‘bracing for impact’. It’s exhausting. I sleep with one eye open and one ear to the ground, ready to spring into action at a moment’s notice. The toughest challenge is when my kids are facing unknown difficulties. I watch helplessly from the sidelines waiting for resolution. How will this end? When will this end? Will it turn out well, or will we have to walk through the valley of trauma again? As a Jesus Follower, why am I not exempt from this sort of journey? Many years ago, when our late son-in-law was still alive, I was in a constant state of ‘bracing for impact’. He was battling mental illness and addictions. Our daughter and their boys were dealing with the fall-out of his choices and behaviour. Addiction is not a choice. One does not wake up one morning and decide, “Today I’m going to become an addict”. It begins with a choice but eventually gains the upper-hand and choi
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