Lingering in Dissonance

 

Music is made up of chords and scales. When I was a music teacher I taught my students to play by ear, learning which chords went along with which notes. Beginners learned primary chords and when proficient with those I added minors and irregular chords. Lastly, I introduced dissonant chords, chords that don’t seem to fit, or that cause a bit of angst in the listener until they finally resolve to a primary chord.

Oxford Dictionary Definition: Dissonance - lack of harmony among musical notes; a tension or clash resulting from the combination of two disharmonious or unsuitable elements.

I am presently the interim Worship Ministries Coordinator at our church, and one of my responsibilities is to share a short devotional with my teams on Sunday mornings prior to our service. I’ve been doing a series on ‘Psalms of Ascent’ and last Sunday I read Psalm 130. A few verses jumped out at me:

“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.” (Psalm 130:5–6, NIV84)

In two verses the word ‘wait’ appears five times! The word ‘wait’ seems to be synonymous with ‘hope’ which is directly linked to trust. One cannot wait without trust. The psalmist gives the reason he can trust the LORD. The LORD does not keep a record of our wrongs but forgives us and it is because of that that we can serve him with reverence (v. 3-4).

Then verse 7:

“O Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption.” (Psalm 130:7, NIV84)

Unfailing love and redemption are the resolution of the dissonance. The waiting has paid off.

I’ve been struggling lately with so many unresolved issues in my sphere of influence: family, friends, personal, Church stuff. I was trying to explain to my husband what I was feeling, why I was so out-of-sorts. Then it came to me…dissonance. It feels like I’m caught in a dissonant chord that refuses to resolve; like there’s a huge fermata hovering over the chord. A fermata is a musical term for the sign that sits above a note or chord telling the musician to pause on that note for an undefined amount of time. One cannot ‘count’ a fermata because it operates out of the box, without rhythm. One plays the chord, holding it until he/she feels that it is time to go on. The longer one holds the chord the more the tension rises and the sweeter the resolution.

My wise husband calmly said to me in my dismay, “Well, then you will just have to wait it out. You have done all you can do and now you can rest in that knowledge knowing that God is still working on it.”

In music dissonance adds colour, dimension, interest, tension. It helps build to a climax making the resolution memorable. If all songs were just comprised of primary chords, music would become very boring and predictable. There would be no angst but there would also be little to no interest. So it is in life. Without dissonance how would we build trust? How would we build character and strength? Without tension there would be no need for resolution. What would we be waiting for? Would there be any cause for hope to grow?

“Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord; O Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.” (Psalm 130:1–2, NIV84)

I cry out, “Get me out of this dissonance LORD! My whole being waits. When is this ridiculous fermata going to end?!”

And just like that the Lord whispered to me:

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28–29, NLT)

Notice he says, “take MY yoke”. Could it be that I had taken up another’s yoke? That I was carrying things that were not mine to carry? I do that quite often. I want to help. I want to make it better for others. But what if they need some dissonance in their life and my intervention robs them of the beautiful resolution God wants to bring to them in his own creative way?

When I lay down the heavy, ill-fitting yoke and replace it with Jesus’s yoke, I can rest because he is totally trustworthy, not only with my discomfort but with the discomfort of those around me.

I put my hope in the LORD, because with him is unfailing love and redemption. I can linger in this dissonant chord knowing that though it is building tension, the resolution will be all the sweeter.

“My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning…

My soul is lingering in the dissonance because HIS resolution is worth it.