A Letter to Mary
On this
Christmas Eve I bring you something a little different.
Bethany Quinn
is my baby-girl. Well she is a grown woman, but she will always be my baby. She
works to feed people long after I am snug in my warm bed. After a long shift
she is physically exhausted but often unable to go right to sleep when she
finally gets home. One December night, in the wee hours of the morning, her
mind was swirling with many thoughts about that first Christmas long ago, so
she just started writing them down. The following blog is straight from her
heart and she graciously gave me permission to share it with you.
*
* *
3 AM
thoughts. Mary was a mother. So, she would feel mother type emotions, right?
Well, I wrote it all down as it came to my brain. I couldn’t sleep if I had
tried to, so here it is.
Thinking of
Mary as a Mother.
Mary, WHEN
did you know? Was it the Angel that told you your child’s future? Did you KNOW
then? When did it become real? From the 1st missed period, 1st bout of morning
sickness, the noticeable size of your belly, the 1st kick, 1st hiccups? When
did it become real? Yes, you are carrying a baby for sure but when did it sink
in that this baby was the Messiah? After your long journey and giving birth in
a stable?
When you 1st
held your brand new 1st born child, something changed in your spirit. You now
feel emotions deeper than you ever have, this love is greater than any force
you have seen. You stare down at your first-born baby boy and the world melts
away, it is just the two of you and the world is perfect. You want to live in
that moment forever.
How long did
that moment last before you remember he is not just your baby but the baby to
save the world. How long did it take for your tears of joy to turn into tears
of sorrow and pain because you know what is before him? How many nights did you
hold him close because for now you could? How many late nights did you wrap
your arms around your tiny toddler and pray that his future could change; that
God could choose someone else’s little boy? How many nights did you cry
yourself to sleep as you see so much good in your child as he grows, seeing how
he will form into the man he is called to?
How many
days did you stare at him while he helped his father with his work? How many
times did you watch him in the temple where you could see his spirit being
filled for a time to come? How many times did you contemplate taking him away
in the night and trying to run from his destiny? How many nights did young
Jesus collapse on your lap after a long day, and you spent the whole night
swirling his curls in your hand wishing time would slow down?
How many
sleepless nights did you have as Jesus became a teenager, not knowing when his
time to step into his role would be, anxiously awaiting him to make the 1st
move? How many days when he would leave did you collapse into a pool on the
floor knowing each day is one less day with your beloved son? How many
sorrowful prayers did you yell up towards the heavens asking for the plans to
change?
How proud
were you of your boy when he stepped into his calling and began changing the
world? How much joy did it bring you seeing the thousands of people who’s lives
were changing by the words of your baby boy? How much peace did it give you
seeing how amazing of a leader he was and that he walked naturally into this
role?
How scared
were you as the rumours started going around about your son and the ways to get
rid of him? Were you again on your knees pleading with his Heavenly Father to
step in, to come to the rescue, to stop the plans that were in motion?
Mary, sweet
Mary, how great was the pain when they took him away in chains. How much did
you weep when the crowds did not choose your perfect baby boy? At what point
did you go numb? Could you even feel the amount of pain that was ahead of you?
Seeing your baby boy beaten over and over again, seeing him ridiculed in the
street, and finally seeing him hung like a criminal. Did you cry out once again?
Did you have the strength for one last soul wrenching prayer?
Did you know
at the moment your baby breathed his last breath the world was set free? Did
you ever feel the peace that we feel when we think back to that day? Mary did
you get angry at God for not saving his son? Did you scream, “it’s not fair!”?
On that 3rd
day, that must’ve felt like years, when you heard about your son, did you
believe it? Could it be that your prayers had been answered? Did your baby get
a second chance at life?
There is
something a little different about him now. He is still your baby boy, your 1st
born child, but he is more than before. Does this new part of him restore the
brokenness that you suffered? Do you feel at peace? Mary did you know that we
would look back on you and call you Brave, Saint, Worthy? Did you feel this way
while raising Jesus? Did the weight of raising Jesus, the Messiah, burden you,
but in the end bring peace?
I hope for
your sake Mary you got to feel the way that your son makes billions of people
feel, at peace.
* * *
Dear Readers,
it is my prayer that this Christmas you will receive the love God our Father so
lavishly pours out for you. Yes, Mary paid a high price for being willing to be
the mother of our Messiah, our Saviour; a very high honour and a very high
cost. Our Father also paid a very high price. Jesus paid an incredible price.
He gave up the glory of heaven to be born on this dark earth, knowing that it
would take him through an excruciating death so that you and I could be in relationship
with Father once again.
““This is how much God loved the world: He gave
his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be
destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God
didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing
finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world
right again.” (John
3:16–17, The Message)
Christmas is
the beginning of a glorious restoration story. Easter is the culmination of
that story. I invite you to receive the best gift ever!
Merry Christmas
to you and your loved ones. May this new year be one of celebration, joy, and freedom for you.
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