Is it Worth It?

Every Sabbath I try to do a ‘week in review’. I go back over my journal entries from the previous week to see where God was at work and what he was teaching me. There is almost always a recurring theme, a common verse of scripture that pops up in various situations, a lesson God is trying to highlight for me. Last week’s review was ‘abiding, lingering, in God’s presence’, and embracing the journey of discovery with him. I asked the Lord for some direction as to which scriptures would help me in this. I came upon Psalm 73.

“Truly God is good to Israel, to those whose hearts are pure.” (Psalm 73:1, NLT)

This sounded good to me, so I settled in and kept reading. The next verse took me by surprise.

“But as for me, I came so close to the edge of the cliff! My feet were slipping, and I was almost gone. (Psalm 73:2, NLT)

Now I had to keep reading. What would cause the psalmist to fall?

“For I envied the proud when I saw them prosper despite their wickedness.” 

(Psalm 73:3, NLT)

Oh dear, I am guilty of this too! The wicked seem to get away with their shenanigans while good people suffer. I see people getting rich through exploitation of the innocent, cheating on their taxes, open dishonesty…And sometimes in our churches, though it takes on a bit of a different look, not so much about riches in material goods but in power and influence, people clammouring to get their way, running roughshod over their brothers and sisters…Our world is pretty messed up. The wicked certainly seem to be getting away with ‘murder’.

Verses 4-12 describe how the wicked live. They don’t seem to face trauma, they are healthy, arrogant, scoffing at those less fortunate than they. They trounce on people around them to climb the ladder of success. They cruise through a life of ease. When I watch the news, I hear about how the leaders of various countries are lying, stealing, cheating, etc. and no one is taking them to task for it. They keep their prestigious leadership role, income, favour, and power. That is not right! It is not fair! Especially because, all the while here I am, sacrificing the security of living in the same home and community for many years and growing old with friends and family. I have given up so much to follow the call of God on my life. And I have a huge bucket of pain to show for it. I find myself asking, “What the hell?!”  

“Does God even realize what is going on?” they ask. “Is the Most high even aware of what is happening? Look at these arrogant people— enjoying a life of ease while their riches multiply.” (Psalm 73:11&12, NLT)

“Did I keep my heart pure for nothing? Did I keep myself innocent for no reason? I get nothing but trouble all day long; every morning brings me pain.” (Psalm 73:13–14, NLT)

I am ashamed to say that I too have envied those who prosper even when I can clearly see that they live contrary to God’s plan and character. The wicked flourish and the godly suffer. It seems as though God doesn’t care, either about their wickedness or about my obedience. Why is my life so difficult and theirs so easy? Is it even worth it to live a life of integrity?

The psalmist goes on to say that though he felt this way he didn’t dare voice his disillusionment to the people lest they lose their hope and courage (v. 15). Rather, he spent some time reflecting in God’s presence. God’s shoulders are mighty, and he can handle our disappointments and our frank honesty. Some things are better left unsaid to the masses and poured out only before God.

“So I tried to understand why the wicked prosper. But what a difficult task it is! Then I went into your sanctuary, O God, and I finally understood the destiny of the wicked.” (Psalm 73:16–17, NLT) [emphasis mine]

It may look like the wicked are flourishing but in light of eternity their glory will be very short-lived. Verses 18-20 remind us that the wicked are on a slippery slope that will not end well. They may die wealthy and famous but when they wake up in eternity it will not be so glorious. Justice will prevail.

“In an instant they are destroyed, swept away by terrors. Their present life is only a dream that is gone when they awake. When you arise, O Lord, you will make them vanish from this life.” (Psalm 73:19-20 MLT)

Suddenly, the psalmist has an awakening as to what was going on in his heart.

“Then I realized that my heart was bitter, how pained I had been by all I had seen. I was so foolish and ignorant— I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.” (Psalm 73:21–22, NLT)

When I finally realize that I have taken my eyes off Jesus and begun to look at those around me, comparing my life to theirs and wishing for their wealth and status and comfort, the only reasonable response is to repent.

Now the good news. After the psalmist’s honesty before God and his subsequent confession and repentance we read the blessings that are his when he lives in relationship with God. These blessings can be yours and mine as well.

“Yet I still belong to you [God]; you hold my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny.

Whom have I in heaven but you?

I desire you more than anything on earth.

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.

Those who desert him will perish, for you destroy those who abandon you.

But as for me, how good it is to be near God!

I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter,

and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do.” (Psalm 73:23–28, NLT)

When I compare my state of affairs to those around me shalom dissipates into thin air. But when I read verses 23-28, I can more easily abide and linger in God’s presence. Is the sacrifice worth it? You better believe it is! I would not trade God’s presence for anything!