Connie's Lament
Grief
and sorrow are an inevitable part of living. On this side of heaven, life gets
hard and we often struggle to make sense of our pain – ours, or that of others.
In our culture, it is often not acceptable to be in mourning for any
significant length of time. It is uncomfortable to sit with the grieving, to
hear them process their pain out loud over and over. We are sometimes told, by
well-meaning Christians, that everything will be okay if we just trust God
(that is true but not appropriate to say to someone in the midst of their
visceral pain). So, we bury our pain and suffer alone in silence (perhaps
because we don’t want to bother those around us). We do not know how to lament.
A
lament is giving voice to our struggle with grief, loss, trauma, pain, terror,
sorrow, etc. It is stating that we are not okay with the way things are. It is
not a statement of disbelief or loss of faith. Most often, a lament will take
us on a journey toward recognizing God as the Almighty who will intervene and
therefore, is worthy of our praise. I’m not sure we can effectively praise God
without first acknowledging our pain.
I
wrote this lament on November 19, 2010, during a six-month leave of absence
from our ministry. The pain of my past was no longer willing to take a silent
back seat. I had to face it head on and work my way through the darkness to the
light.
This
lament was first published in Journey through Winter, a 90-day
devotional written by a team of authors, all sharing parts of their journey through
grief and suffering of sorts, giving testimony to God’s love and faithfulness.
In
the last two weeks my husband and I have walked alongside several people from
our church family, friends, and family, who are going through some horrendous
events. Death, terminal cancer diagnosis, wayward children, chronic pain, etc.
It is my hope that this lament will give a bit of validity to your difficulty
and perhaps give you words to begin a lament of your own. And I am here to tell
you that you are not alone. I will not tell you that I know how you feel
because that is impossible. You are on your own journey and no one else knows ‘exactly
how you feel’. But I have walked my own journey of pain and suffering and God
has been ever so faithful, always walking with me, sitting with me on my ‘ash
heap’, holding me, comforting me, providing what I need (not always what I
think I need but in the end it has always ended up being precisely what was
best for me).
* *
* * *
O
LORD, have mercy. You are my only hope.
My
distress is such that my joints cry out in pain;
My muscles clench in spasm.
My
heart is crushed.
Is there to be no end to this pain
and sorrow?
Just
when I finally have enough strength to stand
My enemy knocks my feet out from
under me.
Again. And. Again.
I
am all alone; my tears pour down like rain.
I
have tried to walk this journey in my own strength;
With my own wisdom.
I
am naked before you LORD.
I
have nothing to add to your grace
I
remember you have kept me close to your heart;
You never let me stray far away from
you.
Even
when it is so dark I cannot see my hand in front of my face
You, O LORD, lead me with your Right
Hand.
You
go before me.
Your angels stand as my guardians
against the enemy.
You
and you alone can give the order to rescue me from my distress
Please come to my aid.
Please rescue me from destruction.
Without
your intervention I will surely perish.
Stretch out the Strong Arm of the
LORD
And lift me from this
pit.
You
are my God.
You
are my only hope.
Because
you are here I am NOT ALONE!
Inspired
by: Psalm 3:3; 4:1-3; 6:6-7; Isaiah 51:7-8, 12-16, 22 (NLT)
I
encourage you to also read Isaiah 53. It is a prophecy about the coming of
Jesus Christ. He has suffered far beyond what any of us ever have or will. He understands
your sorrow like no one else. He weeps along with you. Write your lament to him
and ask him to show you where he is in your journey.
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