Embracing My Cross

A friend of mine invited a small group of advanced pianists to work up some songs during this COVID lull and play for each other. It was not a competition just a lovely afternoon spent enjoying the talents of our friends. She also asked her granddaughter to play. When my friend told us her granddaughter would be playing she added, “She is the only one who will be playing at her level”, I was a little put off at first because I had been practicing quite a bit to get my songs ready and I thought I was doing a pretty good job. But then I realized…my level is…used to be…ARCT. I was definitely not playing at that level. I realized then that had I kept up my scales and the songs I had worked so hard to develop 30+ years ago to attain my ARCT, I would still be playing at my level. Why did I not keep playing? Why did I allow my talent to take such a hard dive? Probably because I had achieved my goal and there did not seem to be a need to keep up my skill. I had a family to care for and life to live. I didn’t have time to sit at the piano and practice what I had already learned. (Did I just say that?!...I didn’t have time to practice what I had already learned…As I was proof reading this it hit me…all of life is practicing that which we have already learned).

I am still a fairly good pianist, in fact I can ‘wow’ a few people, even without practicing. People who are not acquainted with what I am capable of are generally impressed with what I can still do. I look good but deep down inside I know I’m not that great anymore.

Suddenly, I saw a parallel between my musical discipline and my relationship with Jesus. If I become satisfied with my ‘achievement’ or decide I don’t have time to maintain it (by that I mean exercise what I have learned and keep going deeper) I will lose what I have. Oh, I may still be able to ‘wow’ people with my words of wisdom and experience, but they would be meaningless, empty words.

The cost of relationship with Jesus is high. Yes, salvation is a gift from Father, and it is a glorious step into relationship which is totally free to us. The good news is that it doesn’t end there. It is so much more than that! This is where it gets both good and bad. High reward – high cost.

Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?” (Mark 8:34–37, NLT)

1) Give up your own way. [Deny yourself]. 2) Take up your cross. 3) Follow me. Each of these statements is a hard saying. In our world of “you are enough”, “look after yourself”, exert your rights etc., this way of life is not normal, this ‘denying’ of myself, this giving up my way of doing things.

The cross is uncomfortable. What does it even mean to ‘take up your cross’? Ray C. Stedman says, in The Servant Who Rules, (p. 215):

The cross stands forever as a symbol of those circumstances and events in our experience which humble us, expose us, offend our pride, shame us, and reveal our basic evil – that evil which Jesus described earlier: “Out of the heart of man come evil thoughts, fornication, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness.”(Mk 7:21) It is the cross which brings this out. It is any circumstance, any incident which does this to us. Jesus says, if we are a disciple, we are to welcome it. That is his meaning. “Take up your cross, accept it, glory in it, cling to it, because it is something good for you. It will reduce you to the place where you will be ready to receive the gift of grace of God.” That is why the cross is so valuable to us.

This does not mean only the big things in our life; it is the little things as well. Do you feel hurt when someone forgets your name? Do you get upset when a cashier will not cash your check? Does criticism hurt, even when you know it is justified? Are you rankled when you lose at tennis or golf? All these are minor forms of the cross at work in our lives. The Lord’s word is that if we are going to be a disciple, we are not to be offended by these things. We are not to get upset about them; we are to welcome them.

The cross is a gift that exposes the not so pretty things in my heart so that I can bring them to Jesus and exchange them for grace. Back to the aforementioned piano recital. I was feeling quite intimidated, knowing that others who were going to be playing would be much more skilled than I. What would they think of my songs, my mistakes, my skill level? The cross was exposing my self-centredness, and to my chagrin I also saw pride in my soul. After I repented, I expressed deep gratitude to God for the gift I do have. Then I entered into the recital with joy and celebration. As I embraced the cross and acknowledged what it had revealed about me, I could move forward with freedom and play my heart out, even if I made mistakes and wasn’t the best in the room.

Becoming a Christian is simple – one thing – receive Jesus’ gift of salvation. But being a Jesus Follower is not easy, it costs us everything! Embracing the cross “will shatter us, change us, make us into a different kind of person” (p.218, Stedman). But the exchange – losing our lives – is pure gold, eternal bliss. We’ll get it back a hundredfold and more. Not only will we be rich later, after we die, there is fullness of life now!

I grieve that I allowed my costly piano skills to slip. Thousands of hours of practice and a mortgage worth of teacher fees. May I never allow my costly relationship with Jesus to slip like I did my piano skills. He gave up too much for me, and I have walked too many valleys and mountains to go back now. Just like with my music prowess, if I don’t continue to practice, I will lose my level, my skill, the lessons I learned will be for naught. My relationship with Jesus is too important to me to let it slip. If I don’t continually invest in it and practice what I’m learning, I may not lose my salvation, but I will lose the sweet intimacy we have built thus far. And I will not have the endurance to withstand future challenges.

The Greek text says to “keep on denying, keep on taking up your cross, keep on following”. Being a Jesus Follower is a lifelong course, a heart transformation course, sometimes trudging step by arduous step into alignment with Father’s heart and his plans for us, his glorious good plans. It is losing our lives so that we can find true life. My life is much safer in Father’s almighty hands than in my own frail ones. It makes no logical sense to cling to my way of doing things.

I’ve included a link to a short video that depicts what might happen when we decide the cost is too great and we want to take to easy road.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1hn0u9Hgyg

 

“Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how…What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? What could you ever trade your soul for?” (Excerpts from Mark 8:34–37, The Message)