It's Not About Deserve

Its been an incredible journey of miraculous provision for my husband and me. For those of you who have been reading my blog, you know about it. This past month has been all about transitioning from the condo we had been renting to our own home across town. It feels surreal to be living in a home that I own. This place is a gift from God. Because he knows us better than we know ourselves, we asked him to give us what he thought we needed to have a place where we could rest and replenish and find shalom. God surpassed our imaginations. We have a lovely corner in the yard that is like a secluded camping spot, complete with fire pit. We have a sunroom on the east and south side of the house where the sun pours in and I can bask in its warmth. We have not one but two fireplaces, one gas burning and one wood burning. We have an ensuite. We have room for our kids and grandkids to come home. We have all we need and more. 

The other day a sweet woman from our church was asking about our house and move. When I told her which house we bought, she smiled and said, “Oh I know who built that one. You got a very good house. You two deserve this blessing.”

I know she meant it as a form of support and encouragement, a comment meant to let me know she understood that we had suffered much on this long and arduous journey and she was happy for us that it was finally over. But it didn’t feel right. Deserve? I’m not sure about deserve, but I do know that God has been faithful and has lavishly provided for all our needs. He deserves the glory.

Honestly though, there have been way too many times that I have pouted and sulked telling God that I wasn’t overly impressed with the amount I had to suffer after all the sacrifices I had made for him and his kingdom.

Our conversation about deserving a blessing reminded me of a few scenes from the movie Wonder Woman. You’ll have to watch it to get the full effect but let me share a word that pops up throughout the movie. “Deserve”. Either the character does or does not deserve good.

The first time the term is used is when Diana is preparing to leave the protective custody of her home island and fight for the world of man. He mom tells her, “They don’t deserve you.” Diana is a kind young woman with no guile. She is a princess warrior and has special abilities that her mom feels would be wasted on the world of mankind. Later in the movie Diana sees just how wicked man can be and she becomes disillusioned. Why are good men and women suffering at the hands of evil people? Why get involved with this war they are caught in when they could just walk away from it all? She is having an argument with her friend Steve. He wants her to keep fighting at his side, but she thought the war would end with the termination of Aries. “My mother was right. These people do not deserve my help.” Steve tells her, “It’s not about deserve; it’s about what you believe.” He believes the innocent are worth fighting and dying for.

I think of Jesus. He left a place of glory, where he was the centre of affection. He came to a world filled with hate and selfishness. We do not deserve his grace and mercy and yet he gives it to us freely. Mankind did nothing to earn God’s favour and yet he lavishes it on us because he loves us; we are worth fighting and dying for. God sent his son long before I could ever gain his approval or earn a reward.

“But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.” (Romans 5:8, The Message)

Or in the NIV it says it like this:

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8, NIV84)

“Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.” (Romans 5:1–2, NLT) [Emphasis mine]

As soon as I make agreements with the lie that I deserve better, or I deserve some sort of reward for all the good I am doing, etc., I step away from grace and move into a performance-based relationship with God &/or those around me. If I attempt to earn God’s approval, I quickly become anxious because what if it’s not enough? Or I start to feel envious and compare myself to those around me: what if they are better than me and scoop the blessing before I get a chance?

I highly recommend reading Timothy Keller’s devotional commentary Galatians for You to help give you a greater understanding of undeserved relationship with God.

“It’s not about deserve. It’s about what you believe. And I believe in love,” said Diana with renewed vision as she stepped up to protect mankind, as undeserving and wicked as they were.

Isn’t that what life is all about? If we got what we deserved, we would be paying the penalty for all the wrong we have done. Or, even if we were rewarded for anything good we might do, it would mean that we could earn our relationship with Jesus, and the gospel would lose its power. Love given because it is earned or deserved is not true love. How do you respond to someone who loves you just because they love you? Or to someone who only loves you when you do what they want? Who would you be more motivated to spend time with? As humans we cannot love like that, only Jesus loves with a pure heart and no hidden motives and agenda. God loves us even though we could never deserve his love. It’s not about deserve. It is all about grace.